monday

i cannot believe it -
all the waiting is finally over
anticipation has met its match
monday has indeed arrived.

us, a faux-married couple?
you spurn my cheese
at our makeshift picnic
on the grass in my backyard.

laughable horror films
proprietary squeezes
me jumping in surprise
you calling me out...

interminable hand holding
catcalls and offerings of food
making out at red lights
close calls on the highway.

all of that matters not
when remembering back
to that perfect first kiss
we shared on monday.

disapproval

eyes forever shifting,
watching my every move
waiting on the day when i
make that fatal mistake.

worries surface wildly, and
span across your visage,
illustrating to the nth degree
your lack of confidence in me.

languidly trailing my hand
in the stormy waters of my mind,
i come to the conclusion that
no one believes in me at all.

difficult to phrase, but easy to note,
i see their disapproval
in everything they do
and in all they say.

education, finances, future plans, responsibilities...
the list continues on interminably,
stretching as far as the eye
can see.

their impending disappointment is a world of worry on my shoulders.
like atlas, i feel as if i could throw it off with ease
and yet, somehow, i never do.

absence

eons of waiting
left alone without you
hoping for the day when we
can fall asleep together.

on the porch, looking out
over the rain-soaked ground
i feel you there with me
and yet your absence aches.

one day we will be as one
but until then i feel a pang
every time i think of how
i cannot see you now.

however much i try
to push the thought of you
someplace where it will not hurt,
it always returns to me.

remaining forever
in the back of my mind,
ready to spring up
and latch onto me again.

the only consolation in this
heartstring-tugging dilemma
is, although today I do not see you,
tomorrow is the day i do.

intimacy

kissing is an art in itself
yet it is viewed as common.

tongue darting inside,
an exchange of saliva,
contracting facial muscles,
intense suction action.

intimacy is lost in the fray
and given up for lost.

people come together,
clumsily raking hands
across layers of clothing,
reaching south interminably.

the difficulty of bra straps,
the uncertainty of underthings,
the possibility of lingerie-induced
shame
lingers in the pheromone-filled air.

as the night comes to a close
two people consummate their lust
and call it love
as their hearts implode.

please don't go

next to me, i feel
your heat radiate
letting me know
you are truly there.

pulling you closer,
trying to become one
over and over
osmosis embraces.

kisses are hinted at,
we bend instead
into shapes of spoons
to fit together well.

running my fingers
through your hair,
i take in the smell
of you - your essence.

hearing your voice,
your infectious laugh,
makes it hard to wait
for our next rendezvous.

can't you just stay here for good?

density

as i sit on the stoop with heavy eyes
there is thundering in the distance
ever so slowly increasing,
gaining on me.

my posture is wilted, under a burden
to immense for me alone to bear,
i look out into the bruised sky
is someone watching me?

as nature's roof caves in completely,
dropping its rainy loins upon me,
suddenly i am wet within
as well as without...

my thoughts seeping through me from inside out.

fetters

flailing away, nothing left inside
where is my mind?
give credit where it's due,
but let things rest in peace
not in pieces.

in your last days,
do you see me in your life?
do i flash before your eyes,
like pictures, snapshots
taken without care?

the essence of life
is bottled and sold
when love is lost
and woe is me.

rattle the chains
on your fetters
let me know
how i can aid
you when you love.